Confessions of a Blogger
I am supposed to tell another part of ‘The Story So far’ today… that’s what my schedule says. I confess: I am not in the mood. But I have been enjoying doing this more regularly again. Still, today I am not really in the mood.
The thing with writing is that, sometimes, you’re just not in the mood. The idea, allegedly, is to write something anyway and thereby get through the block, expunge the junk and practice your craft all in one go. All while not being in the mood.
People used to refer to this as getting out the wrong side of bed. I call it the 2nd day after drinking a lot. This morning I am sick of my own story, of my own expectations and plans and worried that every step I take is guiding me ever closer towards some undefined disaster. This is of course all complete crap because I now have around 30 years of history indicating tome otherwise. None the less, today I am not in the mood.
Being not in the mood is fine when you can reassign your work to tomorrow, roll over, go back to sleep or go for a long, slow run somewhere scenic. When you have to pull on your blacks and head back downstairs to the pub to work until sometime late tonight, it’s not good. So what do you do? You do it anyway, as everyone else, everywhere else in the world does. First world problems yeah? Still, I am not in the mood.
In addition, from the darkness of this ‘not-in-the-moodness’ will arise some new light or quirk or idea that will finalise, improve or create a ‘thing’ that I have been working with. From this down time from jollity will arise new energy and optimism. It is a cycle and it comes round every now and then. More frequently if I drink too much, sleep too little and get no exercise, less so if I am engaged, doing cool stuff and eating well.
So excuse me if I didn’t write a blog post today, I am just not in the mood!